Waiting For Winter
Summer's heat drags on, slow rolling days
beneath the sun
Holding on for autumn's chill
The nights feel cool, there is still
a chance to find a place to stay
Some where deep in, sweet memories
of childhood dreams
With endless skies, carefree hills
Innocence held there until
we wake out of our reverie
Feel the fall wind chill, gray rolling clouds
across the sun
Leaves that change and change will leave
things behind we once believed
Dreams our youthful faith allowed
Fade slow in winter, frost on glass
in morning sun
Still, we live in paradise
Heaven lies beneath the skies
In reckless love while ages pass
~~
JD Shirk, 2022
[All rights reserved - used with permission]
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I was very impressed with this poem. The wording is so natural and unforced that it reads like free verse, but if a reader looks closer he'll see it uses a stanza form that's pretty complex, both metrically and in its .rhyme-scheme. It's hard enough to use a stanza form like that, and even harder to bury it so a reader won't notice it, and just gets the benefit of it subliminally; that to me is a sign of real poetic skill.
ReplyDeleteDr. Seuss used enjambment, creates an urgency to read on to the next line without a pause or stopping.
ReplyDeleteThe word 'still' at the end of the line ... caused pause ... and then the realization that this word carried both meanings, appreciated.
I like "... a chance to find a place to stay 8 A ..." Just a subliminal thought while reading: Just seems like such an all encompassing issue for all animalia today to only by chance find a place to stay. Reasons are found to disallow. Produces an unease.
Still in our childhood dreams we can be free, feel free. So much is changing, leaving ... autumn a metaphor for change.
I like "... Dreams our youthful faith allowed (7 A) ..." An after reading thought: 'Spose true, while youthful we possess a ripe fresh faith/belief ... as we age we loose faith as experience tells us we were merely wishful thinker. Faith conceding/surrenders to objective reason (?). Knowledge obtained with experience. We find dependable faith in our self yet still cling to bestowed upon beliefs; comfort. I can be cynical.
'Reckless love', an interesting phrase, presents a stark difference, thought provoking. My thoughts, if I may: Love being such a desire, a treasure, that we endure the pangs delivered, due to carelessness, pain that happens to exist. Reckless lack of caution. Heedless of consequences. Is this love at all? Presents a juxtaposition of terms, "reckless love". Is, let's say, a preeminent human behavior/failing. I'll say failing or ignorance. Nature can be appear to be reckless ... but really just can't help itself.
Even though "... Fade slow in winter, frost on glass 8 A ..." begins the last stanza, the phrase continues the last line of the previous stanza; enjambment carries the reader to a new subtle thought about what is impending ... "... frost on glass ..." defining winter, cold disenchantment in reference to youthful faith, perhaps. Please excuse my analysis.
Then the short 4 syllable line "... in morning sun 4 B ..." brings us back to the end of summer, still the sun shines ... thoughts of the sun melting the "... frost on glass ..." reminding us we still live in "paradise", not all is lost ... yet.
Heaven lies beneath the skies 7 C
In reckless love while ages pass 8 A
A powerful ending! Concluding the be-all and end-all of our existence, "heaven". "The be-all and end-all" an idiom originated from Shakespeare's play Macbeth, appearing in the first act.
Also, Psalm 90 and popular hymn "O God, Our Help in Ages Past" written by Isaac Watts in 1708.
And to refer to heaven as being "beneath" the skies ... to imagine heaven being here on earth. Heaven as metaphorical. Heaven/inhabitants/the earth having to endure recklessness yet still love ... as ages pass. The vast expanse of time, continuing history, the unwavering nature of the divinely delivered seasons ... world without end. Amen. 💟💟💟💟💟💟